the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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