In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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