I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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