did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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