How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
