ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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