You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
