I hate your face
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
