how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
it glows. i had to have it.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
