I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
