So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
