Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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