I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
