I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
