The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize