I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
