Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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