someone threw a dead crab at me
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
