is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
