were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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