So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
