we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
