I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
We talked him into tasing himself.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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