Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
