He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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