You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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