well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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