I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
