yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
