guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
