He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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