Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
