she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
