Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
