party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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