why didn't you poke me back
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
