He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
