Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
