...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
nutella sex= disaster
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
