matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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