UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
