I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize