i think i have herpe
just one?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
