So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize