you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
