we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Do you still have your period?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
