if i can run in heels then i can drive
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
