Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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