I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
