I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
