oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Randomize
