hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
