It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
