So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
