i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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