One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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