Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Randomize
