True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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