how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
