in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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